Studying Tips: Heading off to College or University for the first time

Transitioning from highschool to college can be an exciting but also stressful period of life. You may find yourself living at a new place, learning how to adapt or recreate your studying strategies, finding or making new friends, keeping up with old friends, managing extracurricular activities, or figuring out whichcourses to take.  This post were some advice/tips that I created when I was in 3rd year aimed to help others in similar positions. 

Advice 1: You’re not alone.  

There are other first year students too who are facing just about the same things. You would even be surprised if you talked to another first year and ask how they are doing, they will tell you a similar problem as above. For example, a common one is “waahh, I failed my midterms.” 

I really emphasize acknowledging that you’re not alone and that once you realize this, do not be embarrassed to ask for help. 

In my first year, my first impression after failing my first few midterms was that I didn’t belong here. I was probably overrated. So I felt embarrassed to let anyone know thinking I was the only one. This was until I started making friends and to others that I realized that I was not alone.

The standards in university or college are much higher than highschool. People who get in are often the best students. So the midterms, exams, pacing of the course are much higher than average. You do really find yourself in a new environment. 

For me, my main challenges were of course getting the grades I wanted or had always gotten, studying efficiently, making connections with the right people, finding the resources I needed, managing my commitments on extracurricular. As a result, my grades were severely impacted, because I didn’t fully acquire these resources. 

I started attending seminars and talking to other students and professors about how to manage my grades. Over time, I learn that I was not the only one who was having all these challenges. Other first years students who I talked to had them as well. Then we started talking and sharing our experiences, and over time, helped each other improved. 

So definitely reach out. You will feel less alone, and you will be able to move forward. 

Advice 2: Use your resources to help you achieve your goals. This includes the following: 

 a. Making connections with senior students who can give you advice on studying or share their personal success stories or recommend courses or which professors to take classes with. They can even lend notes or sell you textbooks and save you time looking for them.  
 b. Talk to your professors or teaching assistants on a regular basis about the class topics. You’ve paid them to teach you, so make use of their time. Some professors and teaching assistants are glad that you are asking them questions because it shows them that you are finding an interest in their class. They may even write reference letters for you in the future or tell you about possible job or volunteer opportunities.
 c.  Form study groups with students in your class. Study groups are usually consist of two to four people and you usually meet up once a week or a couple times near exam time and talk about the materials. 

Advice 3: Choose the courses that interests you and are part of your degree requirement. A common downfall for first year students is taking too many courses and courses that their friends are taking. Take fewer courses and only the courses that you need to take or courses you think you will be interested in. First, taking too many courses will take you too away of your studying time. Second, because you are in the stage where you are just learning how to study, you will have a hard time. Lastly, if you take courses because your friends are taking or courses that you don’t think you will enjoy, you will not be very motivated.  

Advice 4: Do not skip classes and keep up with the course materials.This point is strongly recommended. If you ever find yourself behind on your readings or assignments any point in time, it is a clear sign that if you don’t catch up, you will have so much trouble when to studying for exams. You want to make sure your exam studying time is used reviewing materials and not learning new materials. 

Advice 5: Come up with some studying philosophies. For instance, if you want to become a doctor, and you see someone across or next to you on the bus with his or her textbooks opened, you might want to open your textbooks as well and study.

How To Be There For Someone And Convey Empathy

There are two ways in which we generally try to be there for someone. We either relate to their feelings call empathy or we provide some instrumental support. 

When it comes to empathy, we can show it by recognizing the feelings the other person is experiencing. For example, if we notice that a friend is angry, we can say “You feel angry right now.” Phrases like this one can show the other person that we noticed how they are feeling and it’s not something we’re avoiding.

A basic phrase typically used in therapeutic counseling is “You feel [label the emotion] here, because (insert the reason leading the emotion)” to empathize with the client. This phrase may seem awkward to say to others especially stranger, but its impact is real. If you hit the correct emotion(s), it really does convey empathy.  

A few other empathic conversation leads (in bold) follow by examples are: 

1. From your point of view, you’re extremely upset because of how things are turning out. 

2. It seems to you that things aren’t going the way you wanted it to be and that makes you frustrated.

3. In your experience, you feel angry at yourself because you let your own guards down and you didn’t expect to be disappointed.

4. As you see it, everything around you irritates you at the moment because nothing seems to make you happy.

5. I really hear you saying that you rather just give up, because of how disappointed you are! 

6. You mean like an unsettling feeling because things aren’t going well for you? (in a gentle tone)

7. You’re overjoyed because all your hard work has paid off. 

8. Correct me if I’m wrong, but deep down inside you’re really unhappy.

9. I sense that you’re feeling lost.

10. You must have felt disappointed because of how hard you’ve worked and nothing really came out of it.

There are a lot more empathic conversation leads, and you’re always free to use which ever. The key is to show the other person that you can sense what they’re feeling so they feel understood and are not alone.

Disclaimer: I’m a psychology student not a actual therapist or graduatestudent, so take this with a grain of salt. But I really personally found this useful and I want to share it! 

9 Signs Someone is Telling a Lie

psych-facts:

Here are some tell-tale signs that I think helps you figure out when someone is trying to deceive you.
1. Some of the things they say are inconsistent. For example, someone misses a meeting. At first they tell you the reason they couldn’t make it was because they were sick. Then another time, they tell you it’s because they had something else to do. Chances are they are covering up a lie or that they are only being half-truthful.
2. They say one thing but do another. There’s a saying that actions speak louder than words. We judge other people through their actions and less on what they say, because the actions really reveals a person’s intentions. For example, people may make you promises, but in their actions, they do the complete opposite or they do not follow through completely.
3. There exist a history of previous lies from this individual. People who lied in the past will often continue to lie again. It’s their way of living in life to gain things or avoid losses. If someone has lied to you, chances are they will lie again. If their friends or other people who know this individual tell you or hint to you you of their past lying behaviors, chances are you really have to watch out.
Read More

10 Signs Someone is Interested in You (Part II)

1. They laugh at your jokes even when they aren’t that funny. If they don’t laugh at your jokes, they probably find you lame or they are holding back. 

2. They defend you. They stand up for you. Even though both genders will resort to standing up for you verbally if possible. For guys, they may be more likely to fight someone if necessary. For  girls they may not be physical for you but they will try to sabotage the other individual or do something in the background for you.

3. You can sort of sense that they are a little awkward around you. When they talk to you, they might stutter, appear anxious or seemed a little strange. For example, they might ask you weird questions. You can feel that something is not natural, but you can tell that it is affectionate.

4. They will ask you out to do something. This is a huge indicator because when we like someone we want to spend more time with them getting to know them. 

5. They will try to be where you are most often. They find you physically appealing and being around you makes them feel fulfilled.  For example, they might enroll in the same classes as you or go to a place they know you go to. 

6. They compliment you. They might notice that you put on make up or dress differently and compliment you for it or they might noticed that you do well in something and they cheer you on for it. 

7. They are supportive of you and they talk to you a lot and try to listen and be encouraging. 

8. They notice and remember things about you. For example, they might pay attention to what you were wearing or what you said even if you yourself may not find importance in that. 

9. They try hard. It may become obvious that they are dressing to look better or get your attention. 

10. They get you a gift or something or use cheesy pick up lines. 

Common Relationship Problems

Poor communication

This is a common problem with couples

• Has an aggressive or invasive communication style and in response, the other partner withdraws and refuses to communicate
• Tries to employ manipulative  negative emotions, such as anger and sadness to get what he/she wants
• Criticizes his/her partner with rude remarks like  ‘lazy’ or ‘annoying’, rather than having a one to one personal talk it is their partner’s behavior that they dislike.
• Failing to show appreciation or understanding of the other by not physically or emotionally responding to them.

Poor problem-solving skillsProblem solving skills are essential to working out relationship problems. Issues that affects relationships can range from simple things such as having quality and genuine time together to problems such as paying bills or being there when needed most.

Some common barriers to problem solving are:

•  Avoiding and using excuses to get not be involved from the problem. This will cause disinterest meaning that he/she is losing feelings for you.

• Choosing the wrong solution before examining and considering all other options. For instance, thinking that a long holiday together will forget/fix the solution rather than looking at minor changes that may enhance or significantly improve the relationship

•  Trying to solve the problem alone. Lack of communication together may lead to one party blaming the other when things do not work out.

Good Habits to Develop

1. Set yourself some daily goals. Keep them realistic and achievable. That will give direction – so you don’t fritter your time.

2. Read inspirational books and blogs; hang around people who are positive.

3. Stay in touch with what’s happening in the world. We’re not just islands – we are part of one another.

4. Make the effort to stay in touch. Just a “like” on facebook, or a brief text message, conveys to that person that they matter to you.

5. Invest some time in your appearance and health. We’re more confident when we look and feel our best.   

6. Pay attention to your priorities. Do what’s most important, and not most urgent, first. (Note: If you never learn to prioritise then everything seems urgent – and that’s what runs your life!)

7.  Smile. It makes people feel more positive towards you – and it tends to lift our mood, and enhance our feelings, too.

8. Tidy as you go. It’s easier to work, and you’ll feel a lot less stressed, if you’re working somewhere that’s devoid of clutter. Also, if you tidy as you go then it feels less overwhelming.

9. Include some margin in your life so you don’t feel so stressed, as unexpected things always eat away our time. Expect that to happen – and leave some extra time.

10. Take time for yourself as you need to relax, unwind, recover, and recharge your batteries.  

49 Random Psychology Facts

1. Based on the total number of people tested since IQ tests were devised, women have a slightly higher average IQ than men. 
2. Your body is virtually paralyzed during your sleep – most likely to prevent your body from acting out aspects of your dreams. 
3. All the faces in your dream are of people you have saw throughout your life. 
4. If a guy stands with his legs apart while with a girl means he likes her. 
5. Chocolate and shopping are both more addictive than LSD or steroids. 
6. Children who are breast fed display IQ’s up to 10 points higher by the age of three. 
7. There is no such thing as multitasking. 
8. You can only remember 3 to 4 things at a time. 
9. Blue and red together is hard on your eyes. 
10. There’s a disorder where you swear your mother is an impostor of your mother. 
11. You make most of your decisions unconsciously. 
12. If you cry for more than 12 minutes, it’s self-inflicted. 
13. You reconstruct your memories. 
14. You are most affected by brands and logos when you are sad or scared. 
15. Men, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds. 
16. You can only feel romantic love for about a year, after that it’s attachment love. 
17. Women are better than men at remembering faces, especially of females. 
18. Eating chocolate makes you happy because it contains phenylephylamine - the same hormone the brain triggers when you fall in love. 
19. When a person permanently loses their sense of smell, they can developdepression. 
20. Having your shoulders upwards and not forwards means that you’re confident. 
21. A typical right-handed person tends to look towards their left when remembering something that actually happened (images, sounds and internal dialogue) and towards their right or downwards when they’re making something up. 
22. You are most attracted to people who have similar facial features as yourself. 
23. When a person talks fast, it usually means they have a confidence issue. 
24. If you smile, even if you’re in a bad mood, it will immediately improve your mood, because the simple action of thinking about smiling and using the muscles is enough to trigger happy chemicals in the brain. 
25. Women are more attracted to guys that resemble their dads and same for guys with their moms. 
26. You are 12% more likely to be in a good mood if your friends around you are in a good mood, and 8% more if they’re not even in the same region. You’re 6% more likely to be in a good mood if your friends’ friends are in a good mood. You’re only 2% more likely to be happier, in the long run, if you winthe lottery. 
27. The memory is the first part of the mind to begin get worse as you age. 
28. A human is sexually active all its life from the very beginning. 
29. Monkeys see showing teeth as a sign of aggression. ( so don’t smile in front of them :p ) 
30. Even though most of the time you don’t understand your dreams, they’re the reflection of your deepest desires and fears. 
31. When a person cries and the first drop comes from the right eye, it’s happiness. But when the first roll is from the left, it’s pain. 
32. Men change their minds two to three times more often than women. 
33. Women are more fearful and anxious than men. 
34. Hard rock music played to colonies of termites cause the insects to enter a kind of frenzy and to chew through wood at twice their normal rate. 
35. 27 % of cards contain just the sender’s signature without a personal message. 
36. We are the only organism that can turn to cannibalism on itself. 
37. If you tear the paper off your drink bottles, you’re sexually frustrated. 
38. People tend to alter their behavior towards others when mirrors are around. 
39. We have pretty much as many neurons in our heads as there are stars in the sky. 
40. If you eat in your room you become selfish. 
41. 3 feet around you is personal space so if someone you hate comes in it then you will get disturbed. 
42. If you’re curious about whether someone likes you, and are afraid to ask, you can tell by the expression on their friends faces as the one you like is being poker faced. 
43. Women who wear bright red and vibrant lipstick , are often very sexually active or would like to be. 
44. Cutting or other forms of self harm gives a sense of relief and proves they are real people. The pain is irrelevant. 
45. Cops watch red and black sports cars more than any other color. 
46. When people lie, they tend to discretely cover their mouth or nose. 
47. People tend to use their hands to show how important a subject matter is to them. 
48. Blind people dream, but not if they were born blind. 
49. Members of the opposite sex that smell better to you, you have more genetic compatibility with. 

25 Facts on Napping

1. Abandon all-nighters - Foregoing sleep by cramming all night reduces your ability to retain information by up to 40%. If you can, mix in a nap somewhere to refresh your hippocampus.
2. It doesn’t mean what you think - If you know you have to pull an all-nighter, try a “prophylactic nap.” It’s a short nap in advance of expected sleep deprivation that will help you stay alert for up to 10 hours afterwards.
3. You can’t avoid that down period after lunch by not eating - Human bodies naturally go through two phases of deep tiredness, one between 2-4 a.m. and between 1-3 p.m. Skipping lunch won’t help this period of diminished alertness and coordination.
4. Pick the right time - After lunch in the early afternoon your body naturally gets tired. This is the best time to take a brief nap, as it’s early enough to not mess with your nighttime sleep.
5. Hour naps are great - A 60-minute nap improves alertness for 10 hours, although with naps over 45 minutes you risk what’s known as “sleep inertia,” that groggy feeling that may last for half an hour or more.
6. But short naps are best - For healthy young adults, naps as short as 20, 10, or even 2 minutes can be all you need to get the mental benefits of sleep, without risking grogginess.
7. Drink coffee first - The way this works is you drink a cup of coffee right before taking your 20-minute or half-hour nap, which is precisely how long caffeine takes to kick in. That way when you wake up, you’re not only refreshed, but ready to go.
8. The NASA nap - A little group called NASA discovered that just a 26-minute nap increases performance by 34% and alertness by 54%. Pilots take advantage of NASA naps while planes are on autopilot.
9. Can’t sleep? Don’t stress - Even if you can’t fall asleep for a nap, just laying down and resting has benefits. Studies have found resting results in lowered blood pressure, which even some college kids have to worry about if they are genetically predisposed to high blood pressure.
10. Napping may save your life - A multi-year Greek study found napping at least three times per week for at least 30 minutes resulted in a 37% lower death rate due to heart problems.
11. More nap benefits for the brain - Not only will napping improve your alertness, it will also help your decision-making, creativity, and sensory perception.
12. But wait, there’s more - Studies have found napping raises your stamina 11%, increases ability to stay asleep all night by 12%, and lowers the time required to fall asleep by 14%.
13. The ultimate nap - According to Dr. Sara Mednick, the best nap occurs when REM sleep is in proportion to slow-wave sleep. Use her patented Take A Nap Nap Wheel to calculate what time of day you can nap to the max.
14. Fight the Freshman 15 - Research shows that women who sleep five hours at night are 32% more likely to experience major weight gain than those sleeping seven hours. A two-hour nap isn’t feasible for many, but napping is a good way to make up for at least some lost night sleep.
15. If it was good enough for them… - Presidents JFK and Bill Clinton used to nap every day to help ease the heavy burden of ruling the free world. Of course, they also had other relaxation methods, but we won’t get into those.
16. Do like the Romans do - In ancient Rome, everyone, including children, retreated for a 2 or 3-hour nap after lunch. No doubt this is the reason the Roman empire lasted over 1,000 years.
17. Don’t wait too long - The latest you want to wake up from a nap is five hours before bedtime, otherwise you risk not being able to fall asleep at night.
18. Sugar is not a good substitute for a nap - When we are tired, we instinctively reach for foods with a high glycemic index, but after the initial energy wears off, we’re left more tired than we were before.
19. It’s a good way to catch up - If it takes you less than five minutes to fall asleep at night, you are sleep deprived. If you never can seem to get to bed earlier at night, a mid-day nap is a great way to catch up on sleep.
20. Underclassmen need more sleep - Freshmen and sophomores who are still in your teens: you need up to 10 hours of sleep to feel rested. So odds are, you are sleep-deprived.
21. You’ll have to leave the party sooner - After one school-week of not getting enough sleep, three alcoholic drinks will affect you the same way six would when you are fully rested.
22. Don’t drive drowsy - Don’t be afraid to take advantage of an “emergency nap” on the side of the road in your car. Every year, as many as 100,000 traffic fatalities are caused by sleepy people behind the wheel.
23. The Einstein Method - If you are concerned about sleeping too long, do what Albert Einstein regularly did: hold a pencil while you’re drifting off, so when you fall asleep, the pencil dropping will wake you up. (We do not guarantee you will wake up with a 180 IQ.)
24. Missing sleep is worse at your age - For people ages 18 to 24, sleep deprivation impairs performance more significantly than in other age brackets.

Top 10 Interesting Psychology Facts

1. Cognitive Dissonance - the idea that when we hold two conflicting thoughts or beliefs, we unconsciously adjust to make one fit with the other. My social psychology professor gave an example of a student who values studying all the time, but slacks off when it comes to their favorite television show. So the student tells herself that watching the television helps her study later when it really doesn’t. However, telling herself that helped her eased the anxiety. 

2. Hallucinations are common - one third of people report experiencing hallucination at some point in time. Similarly, normal people often have paranoid thoughts. So when was the last time you hallucinated?
3. The Placebo effect - this is when you think that something like a drug has an effect on you when really it doesn’t. It’s your thoughts that actually resulted in you getting better.
4. Obedience to Authority -authorities or people in power can really control our behaviors. In Stanley Milgram’s famous study, 63% of participants kept giving electric shock to another human being just because someone in authority was telling them to.
5. Choice Blindness - we are not very good at making choices and understanding why we made those choice. When we make a decision, even if the decision is not good, we tend to rationalize why decision is the best.
6. Fantasies reduce motivation - thinking that we’ve already succeeded can reduce our motivation. We might think that thinking about success makes us want it more, but it actually backfires.
7. Brainstorming doesn’t work - thinking in groups actually reduces the power of brainstorming because in group people are more lazy and worry more about what other people think. It’s better to think alone when it comes to generating ideas.
8. Don’t suppress - holding back your thoughts actually makes you think about it more. It’s like you try as hard as you can not to think about pink elephants in the room, but the more you try, the more likely the elephants doesn’t go away.
9. We can train to Multitask - Generally, multitasking reduces efficiency because we have to allocate different cognitive resources to different tasks, but studies show that you can learn to multitask. You just have to train.
10. It’s the little things that matter - we think that it is the big events in our life that changes us, but it’s actually the little things adding up that makes us who we are.

Want to Improve your Communication Skills?

1. Listen carefully when others are speaking. Keep your mouth shut – and focus totally on them.

2. Never, ever talk over other people. This is disrespectful – and a real turn off.

3. Even if the person leaves an hour between each word, resist the temptation tocomplete their sentence for them.

4. Don’t interrupt - let the other person finish. Then, acknowledge what they’ve shared before adding your own thoughts.

5. Paraphrase or summarise what’s just been shared. It shows that you have listened – and are keen to understand.

6. Maintain good eye contact as this says you’re interested, and the speaker and their story are important to you.

The Nine Types of Intelligence

1. Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”)

Designates the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).  This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.  It is also speculated that much of our consumer society exploits the naturalist intelligences, which can be mobilized in the discrimination among cars, sneakers, kinds of makeup, and the like.

2. Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”)

Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone.  This intelligence enables us to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners. Interestingly, there is often an affective connection between music and the emotions; and mathematical and musical intelligences may share common thinking processes.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are usually singing or drumming to themselves.  They are usually quite aware of sounds others may miss.

3. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart)

Logical-mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.  It enables us to perceive relationships and connections and to use abstract, symbolic thought; sequential reasoning skills; and inductive and deductive thinking patterns.  Logical intelligence is usually well developed in mathematicians, scientists, and detectives.  Young adults with lots of logical intelligence are interested in patterns, categories, and relationships.  They are drawn to arithmetic problems, strategy games and experiments.

4.Existential Intelligence

Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here.

5. Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”)

Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.  It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives.  Teachers, social workers, actors, and politicians all exhibit interpersonal intelligence.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are leaders among their peers, are good at communicating, and seem to understand others’ feelings and motives.

6. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”)

Bodily kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.  This intelligence also involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind–body union.  Athletes, dancers, surgeons, and craftspeople exhibit well-developed bodily kinesthetic intelligence.

7. Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)

Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.  Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply meta-linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language. Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, and effective public speakers.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.

8. Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”)

Intra-personal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning and directioning one’s life.  Intra-personal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of the self, but also of the human condition.  It is evident in psychologist, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.  These young adults may be shy. They are very aware of their own feelings and are self-motivated.

9. Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart”)

Spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions.  Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.  Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, and architects all exhibit spatial intelligence. Young adults with this kind of intelligence may be fascinated with mazes or jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing or daydreaming.

When You Feel Lonely

1. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel. Don’t stifle or ignore the pain you’re struggling with.

2. Resist the temptation to isolate yourself. Make the effort to go places where you have to talk to others. You don’t have to do anything that feels overwhelming – but make yourself go somewhere where you interact people.

3. If possible, find a friend, a family member or a counsellor who you can open up and share your feelings with.  Just being real with someone can help remove the pain.

4. Read about inspiring people who also pushed through loneliness (This is true of many leaders, like Nelson Mandela). Doing that, can inspire you to hang in there and keep going.

5. Try writing or journaling about your feelings. Writing down how you feel can help release the pain you feel.

6. Find a way to volunteer or to help out other people – it takes you outside yourself, and makes a huge difference to them.

7. Try and hang around people who believe in you – and be your own cheerleader – and keep your focus on your strengths.    

10 Myths/Facts About Introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

12 Types and Examples of Distorted Thinking

Mind Reading - When you make assumptions about what somebody is thinking or feeling without them telling you. In reality, you are delusional or paranoid.

Catastrophize - when you over think a problem and the effects that they will actually have on you. For example, when you think that losing a relationship means the end of your life when really you can find someone new the next day or down the line.

Filtering - when you only pay attention to one side of things. For example, you only remember the bad times you had in school and not the good ones.

Polarized thinking - when you think of things as either black or white or good or bad. For example, there can only be good or bad people or success or fails.

Personalization - when you take everything too personally. For example, when you think that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you.

Blaming - when you hold other people accountable for your problems. For example, you blame someone else  for causing you to make a bad decision. In actuality, you were the one who made the wrong call based on your own judgement.

Being Right - You feel the need to prove that your opinions or actions are correct. For example, you neglect other people’s perspective in an argument.

Should’s - when you place sets of rules on yourself. For example, you think that you should go out whenever your friend asks you to.

Emotional Reading - When you use your emotions to make a decision or judgement. For example, you buy into a product because of how good it was marketed when really the product is not that good.

Fallacy of Change - when you think others should change for you and that yourhappiness depends on them changing. For example, you expect that person to stop being a jerk because you are being nice to them.

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy - when you expect that all your sacrifices or hard work to pay off. For example, you think that if you work hard enough, you should get a reward.

Overgeneralization - when you carry a problem over to other domains. When you fail a math test, you think that you are not good with anything to do with numbers. 

how to accept yourself

1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.

2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.

3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.

4.  Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself.

6. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. Get up, forgive youself, then just choose to move on.    

Some Zodiac Behaviors in Love

♈ Aries: Will demand their freedom yet become possessive themselves. Will see the world through rose-coloured glasses when they are in love. They become total romantics yet can be embarrassed by this and don’t like people seeing their vulnerable side

♉ Taurus: They are old fashioned in love and a confusing mix of sentimentality and toughness. Although they appear composed they have deeply intensified feelings of love and like to show physical evidence of it. It takes a long time for Taureans to give away their hearts, and only the strong will survive the wait

♊ Gemini: A Gemini will want to make friends with you first. Most of the relationship will base around conversation, big ideas and soul satisfying deep and meaningfuls. Although Gemini is desperate to find their long lost twin; they often surprise themselves with their detachment from people, and a lack of feeling; they also guard their freedom very forcefully

♋ Cancer: A Cancerian will instantly know what their partner wants in a relationship; they are very intuitive and ‘sixth-sense’ when it comes to this. They take love rather seriously and are very sensitive to any turbulence in their relationships. While their friends are out drinking; they’re busy picking names for your future children or mentally decorating their nurseries

♌ Leo: Leo are very proud and boastful in their love. They tend to gravitate towards people that fulfil their higher standards and they love to show their loved one off. Leo want the whole world to know they are in love and become a lot happier people when they are

♍ Virgo: Virgo prefer serene relationships and will become easily embarrassed in times of heavy emotionalism. If they like you, they will re-arrange their schedule; and find a time to fit you in it. Virgo’s nervous tendencies are especially evident on the first date

♎ Libra: A Libran lives for love; and spend their life searching until they find someone who balances the scales. Libra will always feel incomplete until they have found a mutually beneficial relationship. Libra wait years until the right person comes along, leaving friends and family wondering why someone with with such affability and liveability is still single

♏ Scorpio There is no middle ground for Scorpio; either they are deeply passionately in love or they don’t want to know you. They can be maddening to their partners; one minute they are detached, mysterious and ego-centric, and then ever shift into commitment and generosity

♐ Sagittarius Sagittarius require their freedom in relationships or it will be intolerable. Curiously, they can be quite possessive in relationships; only because they are aware of their own malleability and sense of detachment towards love. Even if Sagittarius has found true love their casual nature can make them appear indifferent

♑ Capricorn Love helps free the Capricorn from their own critical and stoic natures. Trying to break down the walls of a Capricorn and win their heart is no easy task. They have much more than ribcages protecting themselves. They  are huge on family, and are deeply loyal to their own

♒ Aquarius Aquarius prefer to forge a friendship first and usually prefer the live apart relationship for as long as they can. Love generates many overwhelming and confusion to an Aquarius, emotions which they struggle to read, this often makes them lose their rationality. Aquarius love love, but guard their independence fiercly

♓ Pisces Pisceans tend to wear rose-coloured glasses about their loved one in a relationship. This can cause many of them to find themselves in self destructive relationships with horrible partners. Sometimes, in love, a Piscean doesn’t realise they can do better for themselves. Love has been the core of many of the Piscean fantasies