When Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Is Friends With Your Best Friend

If you’re dating someone who is friends with your best friend it can be both a good and bad thing. It’s great that you all get along and can hang out, but it can be hard to navigate while respecting everyone’s boundaries. Follow these tips for keeping everyone happy and staying sane: 

Keep boundaries. It’s great that you’re all close to each other, but keep your relationship with your partner separate from your friendship with your friend. You can all hang out together but make sure to keep some distinction between your relationships with each of them.

·        Have time together and alone with each of them. Make sure to have both group hangout time all together and alone time with both your partner and your friend. Just because you all know and love each other it doesn’t mean that you need to all be together all the time. It helps keep boundaries between each relationship if you spend alone time with each person.

·        Use their connection for the positive. It’s a great resource that your best friend is friends with your partner. Use their knowledge in a positive way by finding out more about them and what they like.

·        Try not to get jealous of your bond. If they’ve been friends for a long time it can be hard not to feel left out sometimes, but try to rise above it. Getting jealous of their friendship is a natural feeling but it’s only going to make you feel bad. Try to focus on the positive fact that they are friends.

·        Don’t try to keep them from hanging out. Just because you’re dating him/her now it doesn’t mean that they have to stop hanging out together. Trying to keep them apart will strain your relationship with both of them.

·        Accept that it might sometimes get weird. Be realistic and accept that the three of you are navigating a great, but sometimes complicated set of relationships. There’s bound to be a bit of awkwardness, jealousy, etc. and that’s only natural. Accept that everyone will need time to adjust.

·        Don’t drag them into the middle of your fights. This applies to problems you have with your boyfriend/girlfriend as well as any arguments you have with your best friend. Don’t try to get the other one in the middle or to take sides. It’s going to be awkward for everyone. Find someone else to vent to.

·        Don’t weird your friend out with intimate details. Try to keep the private details of your relationship with your partner separate from your friend. They don’t want to know intimate details about their friend just because you’ve started dating them. It’s sure to make everyone feel weird

10 Tips For Dating Your Opposite

Are you an introvert dating an extrovert? Or an extrovert with a shy and quiet boyfriend/girlfriend? Dating someone with an opposite personality can be smooth sailing with these 10 tips:

1.    Understand them. Identify and understand what personality type they are in relation to yours. When you can understand them and what your differences are you will be more sympathetic and be able to relate to their needs better.

2.    Don’t hide your true self. If you are outgoing and the life of the party, don’t try to tone it down or hide that from your quiet partner. They should like you for you and neither of you should have to pretend to be something that you aren’t in order to be together.

3.    Learn from each other. One of the great things about dating someone different than you is that you can learn from them. Maybe you’ll learn how to be more outgoing or you could learn to appreciate the value of being quiet and listening.

4.    Keep your own life going. If you’re an introvert who loves to have lots of quiet downtime by yourself, don’t stop doing that just because you’re dating someone who is a social butterfly. You won’t be able to sustain a lifestyle where you aren’t being true to yourself.

5.    Don’t coddle them. If your partner is really shy and quiet don’t feel like you have to babysit them at parties and make sure they are having fun. Even if it’s outside of their comfort zone they should be able to have fun and hold their own.

6.    Don’t do stuff that you aren’t comfortable doing. While it’s great to try new things and learn from each other, don’t feel pressured to do anything that you really aren’t comfortable with. Never put yourself in situations where your intuition tells you that you shouldn’t be just to please your partner.

7.    Be yourself. Don’t put on an act and pretend to be an extrovert if you’re just not. Be yourself and they will appreciate you for who you really are. Putting on an act will get old fast and they’ll probably see through it anyway.

8.    Don’t try to change them. You can change habits, but you can’t change someone’s personality. Don’t force them or try to make them into someone they aren’t, just for the sake of trying to be the same.

9.    Give each other freedom. If your introverted partner likes to have quiet time alone, give them the space to do so. If your extroverted partner needs lots of time in big groups of people, let them go and do that. You’ll both be better people for being able to do your own thing.

10. Alternate your activities. Take turns choosing activities and dates that appeal to each of your personalities. Alternate between parties out with big groups of friends and quiet movie nights in. You’ll have a balance between your personalities and neither one of you will feel like you’re always outside of your comfort zone.

How To Let Someone Down Gently

When someone asks you out and you’re just not interested, it’s hard to say no in a way that doesn’t leave him or her feeling rejected and you feeling guilty. Here are the Dos and Don’ts for letting someone down gently:

Do

·        Keep it simple. Say no, offer one simple reason and leave it at that. Don’t go on and on about why you just don’t want to be in a relationship right now, or make excuses about how busy you are. You’re saying no, they get it, just leave it at that.

·        Compliment them. Say something like “You’re such a great friend” or “that’s such a cool date idea, but…”. Offering up a compliment before you say no can help to soften the blow.

·        Thank them. It took them a lot of courage to ask you, so make sure that doesn’t go unappreciated. Say something like “Thanks a lot for asking me”. Show them that you’re flattered and impressed by their courage even if you don’t want to go out with them.

·        Be honest. Don’t make up a story about already having a boyfriend or girlfriend or having other plans if you don’t. They might find out the truth and will feel even worse than if you were just honest in the first place.

·        Let them escape. You just rejected them, so don’t try to launch into a long conversation about something else after you’ve said no. Let the conversation end so they can leave and go and lick their wounds in private.

Don’t

·        Prolong it. Don’t tell them you have to think it over if you know that your answer will be “no’. Prolonging giving them an answer will only give them false hope, so just deal with it right away.

·        Have rude body language. Don’t be checking your phone while talking to them or snickering or rolling your eyes. They’ve shown a lot of courage by asking you out so have the courtesy to show good manners with your body language.

·        Pity them. They don’t want you to feel sorry for them. Even if you do, don’t show it.

·        Patronize them. They can deal with how they feel after you say no; they don’t need you to try to make them feel better about it. Don’t say things like “I’m sure you’ll find someone”. Just let them be.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to identify and manage your emotions in a positive way – and to effectively handle the emotions of others in your life. It consists of four key abilities:

1. The ability to be self-aware– This is being able to identify, understand and handle both your positive and negative emotions. It includes being aware of your “buttons” or your triggers, and knowing when you need to step back and regroup.

2. The ability to manage powerful feelings and reactions – This is being able to control impulsive feelings so you respond in a healthy, constructive ways. Also, being able to adapt to unexpected demands, or to changes to your plans at the drop of a hat.

3. Being socially aware – Having the ability to read and understand the needs, concerns and emotions of others. This includes being sensitive to body language, and picking up on social rules. (This applies to group dynamics and cultural norms, as well.)

4.Being able to relate effectively to others – Being able to build and maintain relationships, to communicate clearly and effectively, to work with other people as part of a team, and being able to apply conflict resolution skills.

 In summary, EQ is related to acquiring skills in the following areas:

Skill 1: Being able to quickly reduce our personal stress.

Skill 2: Being aware of, and in tune with our feelings at all times – so we remain their master, and can choose how we will be.

Skill 3: Being able to connect with the people in our lives through the use of body language, or nonverbal messages.

Skill 4: Being able to use humor to dissipate emotions and deal with the problems and the challenges we face.

Skill 5: Being skilled in problem solving and conflict resolution.

How To Make Up

Fighting is part of any relationship. Its not always fun, but making up afterward can be. Here are 10 tips for making up:

1.    Apologize if you need to. If you were the one that was in the wrong, apologize to your partner. Seems pretty obvious but lots of people hope that the fight will just blow over without apologizing. Just come out and say it.

2.    Don’t make excuses. Simply apologize and say that you were in the wrong. Don’t go on and on trying to justify why you acted the way you did or you’ll re-open the conversation. You’re trying to put an end to it and move on.

3.    Accept their apology. If they were at fault and apologize to you, simply accept it and forgive the. Don’t re-hash all the reasons why they were wrong – they obviously get it if they’re apologizing.

4.    Put it behind you. Don’t say that you’ve forgiven them but continue to sulk for the rest of the night. Let it be done with and move on.

5.    Change your bad behaviors. If you apologized for not listening to them enough, then make sure to stop checking your phone when they’re talking. Or whatever you resolved to do differently – make sure you actually follow through and do it.

6.    Pay attention to body language. If you’ve forgiven them then show it with your whole body. Don’t turn away from them with your arms crossed – that’s just sending them a message that the argument isn’t really over.

7.    Be nice. After a big argument it’s important to show your partner a little TLC. Apologizing and agreeing to make up is great but don’t just say it – show them that you’re over it and that you’re happy to make up.

8.    Let them be nice to you. If they’re trying to shape up after being a jerk by showering you with nice gestures and compliments, just let them. Be gracious and accept their affection.

9.    Do something fun. Arguing, apologizing and making up can be serious business sometimes, so when it’s all over make sure to get out and do something fun together. It will be a welcome change and a good distraction from whatever you were fighting about to begin with.

10. Laugh about it. Maybe you won’t be able to do this right away, but try to find a way to lighten up the situation by finding some humor and having a laugh together.

How to Deal With People Who Won’t Let Go Of The Past

We all know those annoying people who can’t seem to let go of our past mistakes. They seem to take great joy in bringing up flaws. For us, it’s embarrassing and frustrating that they won’t let us move on. Here’s how to deal:

·        You need to make peace with the past. If you are at peace with your past and can let it go, then it won’t matter if they keep bringing it up. It won’t bother you if you’ve accepted your flaws. It’s when you’re still sensitive about it that it bothers you. So accept the fact that you’re human, you aren’t perfect and that the past is in the past and it won’t matter what anyone else has to say about it.

·        Focus on your strengths. Show some self-confidence and focus on all of your achievements and strengths when they start reminiscing about your flaws. Counter their negative comments with positive thoughts.

·        Focus on the future. Just because they’re stuck in the past it doesn’t mean that you need to be. Set your sights on future goals and projects and leave them to rehash the past alone.

·        Don’t stoop to their level. They may get a kick out of trying to bring you down by reminding you of your personality flaws and past mistakes, but don’t be tempted to do the same to them. Take the high road and you’ll always feel good about it.

·        Understand where they are coming from. Think about why they feel the need to focus on you and your past mistakes. It’s likely that they are insecure and have low self-esteem and their way of dealing with their own issues is to focus on yours. So even though it’s annoying, their obsession with your past probably has very little to do with you.

·        Confront them. In an open-minded and calm manner, have a conversation with them and ask them straight out about it. Tell them that you’ve noticed that they always bring up your flaws and mistakes and let them know that it bothers you. Tell them that you’d rather focus on the future and ask that they do the same.

·        Give yourself a break. You are human after all, so it’s only natural that you have some imperfections in your life, just like everyone else. Next time they bring it up, remind yourself that they could be talking about anyone. None of us have a perfect track record, including them.

·        Use it to grow. Use their example to inspire yourself to be a better person and to learn from your flaws and mistakes. Turn their negative behavior into something positive.

Rules For Talking About Past Relationships

There comes a point in every relationship where you talk to each other about your past relationships. Here are the Dos and Don’ts for doing it right:

Do

·        Summarize. Give them the general scope of your past relationships. How long you were together, why you broke up, etc. There’s no need to tell them anymore than the highlights.

·        Outline the main issues. Give them the big picture of what your issues or problems were in your past relationships without going into the details of every little thing that went wrong.

·        Try to keep the conversation positive. Don’t turn it into a conversation where you call your ex nasty names and start trashing them. Your anger will put your new partner off and might scare them away.

·        Ask about their past. Don’t just go on and on about your past without asking about theirs.

·        Show that you’ve moved on. Finish the conversation by saying that you’re glad that the relationship is over so that you can move on to better things. Make sure you emphasize that you’re happy that it’s over so they don’t wonder how you’re feeling about it now.

Don’t

·        Get into the details. Focus on the main issues and highlights rather than getting into the gory details of every fight you had with your ex.

·        Reminisce too fondly. While you don’t want to trash them you don’t want to speak too highly of your ex or your past relationships or your current partner might wonder if you’re really over it.

·        Make comparisons. Avoid making comparisons between your ex and your new boyfriend/girlfriend. They are different people and you don’t want to make them insecure by starting to compare them against each other.

·        Talk about your ex all the time. Have the talk about your past relationships once and then move on. If you’re always bringing up your ex it will drive your new partner crazy and make them wonder if you still want to be in your past relationships.

Tips of Healing a Broken Heart

1. Go through – don’t hide from - the experience. You need to fully experience all the negative emotions before the healing process can begin.

2. Allow yourself to wallow in your independence. Don’t rush into a new relationship. You don’t need another person to make you feel complete. You’re enough in yourself. You are NOT inadequate.

3. Make a list of your strengths. It’s important that you focus on your good qualities as a broken heart can cause our self-esteem to plummet. Make a note of your successes and accomplishments. They didn’t disappear with the relationship!

4. Don’t try to suppress all the memories you have. Allow yourself some time to go over one or two … But don’t pitch your tent there - as the future’s now your focus.

5. Reach out to others who are suffering. You’re not the only person who is having a hard time (although you often feel you are when you’re broken-hearted) … and comforting another will distract you from your pain.  

6. Allow yourself to laugh, and allow yourself to cry. Both of these are healing, and can bring release. They can help us feel more “normal”, and can bring a sense of peace.

7. Make a “good and bad list”. Make a list of all the things that you need to stop doing, to try and put some distance between you and them. For example, if you’re always checking their stuff on facebook then you’ll likely find it is harder to get them out mind. Alternatively, going out for a jog or meeting up with a friend can help to lift your spirits, and to change the way you feel.

8. Hang onto your hope. When a relationship ends (or if our love is unrequited) we can feel that life is pointless as there’s nothing good ahead. But the future is still open – and there’s definitely hope … And one day you will notice that you’re smiling naturally.       

Tips for Self-Acceptance

1. Recognize that there is no-one who is ‘normal’. Love who you are and accept your differences.

2. Don’t think of your differences as inferiorities. They are all part of the package that make you “you”. And the world would be boring if we all were just the same.

3. Refuse to give up on yourself or your dreams. The biggest mistake you could ever make is to not try something in case it goes wrong.

4. Respect your own opinions, your viewpoints and beliefs. If people don’t like then, they can just get over it! Trust your heart and intuition – don’t just listen to others.

5. Don’t be afraid to express, and be, yourself. Develop your own style and your own creative flair.

6. Don’t listen to anyone who puts you down. It’s likely that they’re suffering from low self-esteem – hence they’re trying to feel better by criticising you.

7. Hang out with people who love you just for “you” – and who know that they have failings and hang ups, too.

8. Smile and be happy – you deserve to enjoy life. And remember life’s a journey; it’s not a race.

reasons to get in shape

Getting in shape is something many of us planned on, but never got around to doing so. A common problem a majority of people face is the lack of motivation early on. A good way to get started is to think of reason why you’d like to be fit.

We all have different reasons to want to get in shape. Some want to lose weight, some want to gain size, while some are just plain concerned about their health. Whatever your reason might be, here are some reasons why you might consider getting in shape.

Increase self-esteem. Walking around looking good with a great body, who wouldn’t be confident? Regardless of your body appearance, regular exercise helps improve your self-esteem.

Boosts energy. After you’ve started exercising, you’ll notice newfound energy. Taking care of simple business will never have felt easier. Walking the dog, playing sports, even spending time with the family, you’ll notice an increase in your energy levels/stamina.

Relieve stress. Exercising has been proven to reduce stress and relieve anxiety. Even after your very first workout, you will relieve built up stress. Just exercising 30-45 minutes a day will help bring up your mood. 

Improve health and reduce health risks. Being in shape can help reduce risk of heart disease, and lengthen our lifespan.  Your overall body will also be strengthened, thus reducing chances such as osteoporosis.

Better sleep. Exercising regularly can improve your sleep. People who exercise fall asleep sooner and stay sleep longer.

Overall strength.  This is quite obvious but regular exercise improves strength overall. From standing up, to lifting boxes, our bodies are able to perform daily routines more easily.

10 Ways To Be Supportive

Relationships aren’t all fun and games. Life happens and one of you will be bound to lose a loved one, have a sick family member, etc. Being a good partner means standing by through good times and bad. The good times are easy to handle. Here are some tips on how to be supportive through tough times:

1.      Listen. Let them know right away that you’re there for them if and when they want to talk. When that time comes, free yourself from distractions and really let them vent by listening and giving them your full attention.

2.      Acknowledge the situation. People often feel awkward or they don’t know what to say in times of crisis. Don’t pretend that nothing happened. Acknowledge the situation, say that you’re sorry for what they’re going through, or even admit that you don’t quite know what to say. Any of these are better than saying nothing.

3.      Offer distraction. When they’re ready you can be there to take them out for pizza, go to a movie or anything else to get their mind off of things.

4.      Offer to help. Can you help make any arrangements? Do any errands? Bring over takeout? Show that you care by offering to lighten their load.

5.      Help them remember the positives. When they get down about a tough situation you can be there to talk with them to remember good memories or find a silver lining.

6.      Help with the little things. Without asking, take charge and pick up notes from classes they’ve missed, or anything else that will be helpful. Chances are they’ll forget all about those little details if they’re distracted by a crisis and they’ll be grateful that you’re looking out for them.

7.      Treat them. Now is the time to go the extra mile to make them feel special and loved. Buy their favorite flower or bring them their favorite dessert, just because.

8.      Give them space. If they need a bit of breathing room, give it to them and don’t take it personally.

9.     Treat them normally. They’ll need your support but the last thing they want is your pity or you treating them like a victim. Try to treat them the same way you always do.

10.Don’t make it about you. Tell them that you can only imagine what they’re going through. Or if you can relate, say so. But leave it at that. Don’t launch into stories about the time you experienced the same thing. This isn’t about you.

10 Signs That It Just Isn’t Working

You’ve been through ups and downs together, good times, and bad. You’ve had problems and have tried your best to communicate and work through them. But sometimes there comes a time when you realize it just isn’t working anymore. Here are 10 signs to watch for:

1.    You keep having the same fights. Even though you resolve to work on your issues, if the same stuff keeps coming up over and over again in your fights it’s clearly not getting worked out.

2.    The idea of losing them isn’t that scary. When it’s meant to be the idea of breaking up seems like the end of the world. But if you can picture life without them and it actually doesn’t seem that bad, then there’s a good indicator that it’s not working.

3.    You just feel exhausted. When seeing them feels like a chore because you know you’re just going to argue or nag at each other, and you feel tired before you even start, it’s not a good sign. Seeing him or her should be fun, not a burden.

4.    You’re looking at what else is out there. Maybe you’re not acting on it, but if you’ve started to check out other guys/girls and have been considering who else might be out there for you, then you’ve already moved on.

5.    They just don’t get you. Your significant other should be the person you turn to and confide in, but if you feel like they just don’t understand you and you’re not on the same page then it’s probably time to call it quits.

6.    You have more bad times than good. If you spend more time fighting than having fun, why are you still together?

7.    You’ve lost that loving feeling. If all the chemistry and romance is gone from your relationship and you’re more like friends, then you have to look at whether or not you want to try to inject more passion into the relationship, or if your heart just isn’t in it anymore.

8.    You just don’t see a future. Do you picture them as the person you’re walking down the aisle with? Or someone you’ll grow old with? If you just can’t see it now then chances are you never will.

9.    You don’t respect each other. If you don’t like each other as people then it’s never going to work no matter how hard you try. Once the lust and the passion wear off you need to actually like the other person’s personality. If you don’t, it’s time to call it quits.

10. You’ve given all you have to give. If you’ve had numerous fights, big talks and resolutions that things are going to change and you’re still stuck in the same rut, there’s not much more you can do. When you feel like you’ve tried everything you can at least end it knowing that you gave it your all.

How to Develop Your Personality

1. Work on becoming an exceptional listener. There’s nothing more attractive, and appealing, than someone who listens intently to you.  

2. Keep reading, and seek to develop a wide range of interests. That makes it easier to talk to you, and to exchange ideas with you. You also come across as being a more interesting, balanced, and knowledgeable individual.

3. Work on developing your conversation skills.  This is partly tied in with number 2. It’s about being able to make small talk and to share interesting bits of information with others. If you are shy, or you find this difficult, try to watch and learn from others who are strong in this area. Then, try copying and implementing some of the basic skills they use.

4. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinions. It’s good to know what you think about things as this provides a starting point for making conversation. (But be careful not to come across as rude, dominating, or to push your thoughts and views on other people!)

5. Get out and meet new people. This also helps develop our interpersonal skills as it forces us to interact with those who’re different from us. Doing that, will broaden and expand your horizons and make it easier to mix with lots of people.

6. Appreciate, enjoy and express your true self. You are special and unique – so discover who you are – and don’t try to copy, and be like, someone else.

7. Work on developing a positive and optimistic approach to life. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who is critical, complaining, miserable and pessimistic.  In contrast, a positive person lifts the mood of everyone. So smile, affirm others, and look for what is good.

8. Also, maintain a sense of humour, laugh often, and have fun. We all want someone who can brighten our way, and distract us from the hassles and problems of the day.

8 Tips for Meeting The Parents

The day has finally come for you to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents. Getting them to like you is easier than you think. Follow these simple tips for success:

1.      Dress nicely. Take off your torn up concert tour t-shirt and put on something nice. There’s no need to get super dressed up, but make sure you look clean and presentable. First impressions can go a long way so put your best foot forward.

2.      Find out about them in advance. Ask your partner a bit about their family. Then you can impress their dad by asking how his real estate business is going or asking their mom about the family reunion she’s organizing this summer. This shows that you pay attention and take an interest in their family.

3.      Ask questions. Don’t just sit and nod politely. Get a conversation going by asking questions about their home, their family, their thoughts on the latest James Bond movie – anything. You’ll come across as mature and interesting.

4.      Compliment your boyfriend or girlfriend in front of them. They’ll love to see how well you treat their son/daughter and it will show how respectful you are.

5.      Talk about your family. They will have lots of questions in their head about who you are and where you come from, so offer up some details on your family, what types of things you do together, etc.

6.      Talk about yourself. Tell them about what your interests are and what your future plans are. They’ll see you as a person instead of someone who is just trying to date their son/daughter.

7.      Be open-minded and good-natured. If dad suggests a game of bocce in the backyard or mom pulls out a family photo album, go along with it. Don’t complain, roll your eyes, sigh or check your watch every two minutes.

8.      Put your phone away. Nothing irritates parents more than kids and their cell phones. So put it away, turn off the ringer and pay attention to the conversation instead.

10 Best Things About Being Single

Are you fresh off of a breakup or maybe you have been dateless for months? Don’t beat yourself up about it or wallow in self-pity. Instead, celebrate being single with these 10 great perks:

1.      You don’t have to check in with anyone. You can go out and do whatever you want with whomever you want and don’t have to feel that you have to check in and let anyone know what you’re up to or when you’ll be home.

2.      You don’t have to compromise on whose friends to hang out with.You get to have fun with your friends any night you want instead of alternating between your group and his/hers.

3.      You can flirt with whomever you want. Or give your number to anyone you want, or shamelessly check out whoever you want  - without feeling guilty!

4.      You don’t have to fake an interest in their hobbies. In a relationship it’s important to be supportive of each other’s interests, even if you secretly think they’re boring or kind of lame. When you’re single you don’t’ have to listen to anyone talk about fly fishing or stamp collecting if you don’t want to.

5.      Regular time with your friends. Hanging out with your friends doesn’t have to be a novelty. When you’re in a relationship you are splitting your time between your friends, his/her friends, plus trying to have alone time as a couple, meaning seeing your own friends can be a rare occurrence. When you’re single you can hang out with your peeps all the time.

6.      Opposite sex friends. You can have friends of the opposite sex without having to explain yourself or justify it to anyone or worrying about making your boyfriend or girlfriend jealous.

7.      Selfish weekends. Weekends are precious. Between date nights, supporting them at their volleyball tournament/watching their band play/helping them babysit their kid sister your weekend can be gone in the blink of an eye. When you’re single you get to blissfully enjoy your entire weekend doing whatever you want.

8.      Unabashed chick flicks/sports watching. No more suffering through their movie picks or yet another boring game that you aren’t interested in. You get to pick 100% of what you watch in your downtime.

9.      No coordinating schedules. You can take any shift at work that you want without worrying about how it fits into someone else’s schedule. The same goes for studying, spending time with your family or anything else you want to do.

10.  No pressure to look good. You can go a week without shaving your legs or let your goatee grow out without anyone getting close enough to complain about it. Sometimes being lazy just feels good!

7 Essential Ingredients for a Healthy Relationship

It is hard to find a soul mate! Not many people find a special person who loves them from the bottom of their heart. On the other hand, people who find such a special person are not able to hang on-to each other for a long time due to their negligence. Maintaining a relationship is the most difficult task. Here are 7 essential ingredients to keep a steady, happy and healthy relationship:

Respect – For you to respect your loved one is the best way to express love. There isn’t anything more valuable in this world than respect. When you give respect, you actually gain respect. You don’t have to make an effort to respect your partner. If you love your partner truly, you will automatically respect your loved one. Don’t just respect your partner in the heart; show it with your actions and words. Respect, also in terms of space and your loved one’s ideas and opinions.

Trust – Start trusting your partner from the very beginning of your relationship. When a person trusts another person, there is a sense of reliability between the two of them. Trust helps in building a relation to a great extent. It is really special to know that someone trusts you no matter what. Share this feeling between you and your partner to let the love flow freely. “Trust” is the foundation of every relationship.

Give Time – Keep things steady when you’ve won the heart of your loved one. Often, people tend to get over excited and seem to rush through things which end in disaster. Give your relationship suitable time till you both reach a comfort level which is agreeable to the both of you. Don’t start expecting certain things from your loved one from the very beginning. It can make things complicated.

Maintain a Balance – Don’t try to steal your loved one’s freedom and personal life. Keep a balance in independence and dependence on each other. When people maintain a slight gap and maintain a balance, relationships grow very smoothly.

Compromise – is the most essential ingredient to maintain a happy relation. Someone has to sacrifice for the other. You shouldn’t be afraid to make compromises for the person who you love the most.

Appreciation – It’s important to appreciate each other’s efforts. It will make your loved one realize that you actually value the efforts being made by them. Males must appreciate the beauty of their partner. Women always love to be complimented on their looks and appearance.  Make it a point to compliment.  It is an important ingredient to a happy, healthy relationship.

Be Straight Forward – Don’t ever hide anything from your partner no matter what it is. Once you lose the trust of your partner, you won’t be able to fix the damage. Be honest to your partner as it will enhance the “trust” factor in your relationship. Lying may seem an easy way out of the situation but do you really need to lie to your loved one? One lie leads to several other lies. Your partner will understand you if you tell them the truth.

YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHTS

1. You have a right to need things from others. 
2. You have a right to put yourself first sometimes.
3. You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain.
4. You have a right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate.
5. You have the right to your opinions and convictions.
6. You have the right to your experience - even if it’s different from that of other people.
7. You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you.
8. You have a right to negotiate for change.
9. You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always get it).
10. You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish.
11. You have a right not to justify yourself to others.
12. You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
13. You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
14. You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.

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10 Ways to Get Noticed

Do you like someone but they have no idea that you even exist? Get him or her to sit up and take notice with these ideas:

1.     Surround yourself with people who make you shine.  When you’re having fun and laughing with your friends, you look your best. They won’t be able to help but notice someone who is confident and fun and they’ll want to get in on the action and get to know you.

2.     Start with small talk. Don’t feel pressured to come up with brilliant conversation topics to wow them with. Start dropping little comments on the weather, the big game, whatever, and do it every time you see them. You’ll get used to casually talking to them, which will take the pressure off and they’ll get to know you as the friendly person who is always ready to chat.

3.     Find common ground. Do you share a class together? Have mutual friends? Like the same sports team? There’s bound to be SOMETHING that you have in common, even if you have to dig a little to find it. Once you figure it out, use it as an excuse to start chatting.

4.     Get out there. They will never know you exist if you spend all of your time at home on the couch. Create chances to talk and get to know each other by hanging out in places where they’ll be and getting yourself out there.

5.     Ask for a favor. A great way to break the ice is to ask for help with something. Ask to borrow their notes from a class you missed. Ask to borrow their phone charger – anything! Something really simple can get a conversation going and you can thank them again later for another opportunity to talk.

6.     Recruit a friend. It’s easy to hang out if you have mutual friends. But if you don’t then get one of your outgoing friends to introduce themselves and get to know them a bit. Your friend can then introduce the two of you.

7.     Ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves so this is an easy way to get a conversation going. Ask what they’re listening to on their iPod or where they got that cool hoodie that they always wear.

8.     Be the host. Parties or group hangouts are a great, low-pressure way to spend time with him or her and get to know each other. But if there isn’t anything scheduled in the social calendar make it happen yourself. Invite people over for a barbeque or organize a group night out bowling.

9.     Showcase your talents. Raise your hand in class to show off your smarts. Play the lead in the school play. Volunteer for the dance committee. No one will ever know who you are if you sit silently in the back of the room but if you’re involved in things that show off your best qualities you’re bound to get noticed.

10.Be bold! Yes, it’s scary, but sometimes the best approach can just be to simply go up and introduce yourself. If you’re really bold you could ask them to hang out some time. They’re a person too and chances are they’ll be flattered and impressed