How to Survive A Breakup

Regardless of who broke up with whom, breaking up is tough. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, it WILL get better. Here are the Dos and Don’ts of how to make it through:

Do

·         Hang out with your friends.  Your friends will be your lifesavers during this time. Turn to them when you need a shoulder to cry on or when you need a distraction and want to have some fun. They’ll build you up and help give you confidence when you need it the most.

·         Start a new project. Start that blog you’ve always wanted to or start training for that half marathon. Having a fun new project on your plate will give you something positive to throw yourself into for a distraction and achieving a goal will give you something to feel good about.

·         Go easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about what went wrong or how you should have or could have done things differently. Cut out the negative self-talk and instead give yourself a break and be kind to yourself.

·         Give it space. You might think you want to be friends with your ex and one day you might be. But in the short term, give it some space. You need time to heal before you can expect to be BFFs with your ex. It’s also hard to go from holding hands one day and just being pals the very next. Don’t rush it. If you’re meant to be friends it will happen in due time.

·         Take good care of yourself. Too upset to eat or sleep? Try to do it anyway. Even if you’re really upset you need to make sure to take care of yourself. You’ll never feel better emotionally if you feel lousy physically.

·         Make a list. You’re probably going over and over all of the things you loved about him or her. But the truth is there were probably a lot of things that you didn’t like. Did they talk with their mouth full? Constantly interrupt you? Listen to music that drove you nuts? Make a list of all of the things that got on your nerves or that you didn’t like about your ex.

·         Enjoy the perks of being single. Flirt with someone else. Spend a whole weekend hanging out with your friends without feeling like you’re neglecting your significant other. Enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever you want!

Don’t

·         Trash your ex. It might feel good in the short term to blast your ex all over Facebook or talk trash to anyone who will listen, but resist the urge and take the high road. In the long term you’ll feel badly about not being the bigger person. Stay classy.

·         Play games. Don’t pretend that you have a hot new boyfriend or girlfriend if you don’t. Don’t tell everyone that you were the one who broke up with them if you really were the one who got dumped. Playing games takes too much energy and it’s all focused in the wrong place. Just be yourself and you’ll be able to put the breakup behind you way faster than if you dwell on it and pretend to be something you’re not.

·         Beg. Even if you can’t imagine life without them, don’t beg them to take you back or stay with you. You want someone to be with you because they want to, not because you had to convince them or beg them.

·         Drown your sorrows. You should distract yourself with fun, positive activities with your friends, but don’t turn to drugs and alcohol to numb your feelings.

- See more at: http://psych-quotes.tumblr.com/post/44023855203/how-to-survive-a-breakup#sthash.SCitQ0pT.dpuf

Some Keys to Happiness

1. Be grateful and appreciative. Don’t take people, your health, opportunities etc for granted.

2. Choose to make the most of each day. Look for what is positive, and brings you joy.

3. Choose your friends wisely. Make sure you hang out with people who are kind, understanding, loyal, and who want the best for you.

4. Remember to live by the Golden Rule - treat other people as you’d like them to treat you.

5. Don’t wallow in self pity - but fight the powerful urge to be pessimistic and negative. Instead, believer that you’re a fighter who can cope, and turn things round.

6. Spend time doing the things you really love, and try to choose something you enjoy for a career.

7. Live in the moment – don’t let what lies ahead, or what is now behind you, deprive you of your joy.    

Things I've been telling myself lately:

• It is what it is.
• The universe knows what it’s doing, it makes no mistakes. Everything is happening exactly as it should.
• Let go.
• Love the present moment, no matter how beautiful or terrifying it may be.
• Acceptance.
• No resistance and pure love.
• Your suffering will be taken care of.
• Keep following your heart, it will never lead you the wrong way.
• Love yourself exactly as you are.
• Be your own sanctuary. 
• Heal. Grow. Bloom

12 Ways to Keep The Fire Burning

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while you know how easy it can be to fall into a routine of the same old, same old. Keep things hot by mixing it up with these fun and unique ideas:

1. Try new activities together. Usually spend Friday nights watching movies on the couch? Try out a new activity together like bowling, mini golf or eating a new type of cuisine on your next date. Getting out of your comfort zone as a couple is not only fun but will bring you closer together too.
   
2. Spend time apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so spend time with other groups of friends. You’ll look forward to seeing each other afterwards and have lots to talk about. Being apart makes you appreciate being together.
   
3. Look your best. It’s great to be comfortable around your partner, but after a while it’s easy to let yourself go. Too many nights in wearing sweats and an old t-shirt can send the message that you just don’t care as much as you used to. Try dressing up a little and putting a bit more care into your appearance the way you did when you were first trying to catch their eye. You’ll feel hotter and they’ll definitely notice.
   
4. Pick each other up. Just for fun, try going out to a party or coffee shop and pretending that you don’t know each other. Take turns trying to catch each others eye and trying to impress the other with your best pick up lines. Your smooth talking will either be hot or have you both laughing – both are fun and a great way to spice it up.
   
5. Get competitive.  Challenge each other to a darts tournament, an arm wrestling competition, or anything that gets the competitive spirit going. You’ll both be fired up and a little competitive tension can be red hot.
   
6. Get physical.  Working up a sweat on a hike, at the gym, or playing a team sport together gets your adrenaline and endorphins pumping. Physical activity boosts serotonin, the feel-good hormone, which will put you both in great spirits and give you a natural high. Added bonus: you get to check each other out in workout gear.
   
7. Send love notes. Take the time once in a while to write a note or email to your significant other. Surprise them with it when they least expect it and use it as an opportunity to tell them all the reasons why you think they’re special. If you’re lucky, they’ll reciprocate!
   
8. Get touchy.  This isn’t about looking to score, but rather it’s about finding subtle ways to touch and show your affection. Maybe it’s touching their arm when you’re talking or touching their back while you walk together. These little touches throughout the day are a reminder of how close you are.
   
9. Work together.  Start a blog together, train for a race, or volunteer together. Working on a project is both fun and rewarding. The sense of accomplishment you’ll feel from setting a goal and working towards it together will deepen the bond between you, not to mention give you something fun to do together
10. Do something nice, just because. You don’t need a special occasion to surprise each other with little treats: a favorite dessert, renting their favorite movie, or bringing chocolates to your next date. In fact, surprising them with little treats on any old day shows that you care EVERY day, not just on big occasions.
    
11. Re-create your first date. Surprise them by re-creating your very first date together. Try to remember all of the little details – what you wore, the music you listened to, or what you ordered for dinner. It’s fun to remember how much you liked each other back then, and to look at how far you’ve come since then.
    
12. Pay a compliment – often! It’s easy to take each other for granted when you’ve been together for a while. It’s important to remember why you like each other and to verbalize it so that they know it too. Love their jokes or the way they always make the best playlists? Tell them! Try to compliment each other often so that you both know how special you are to each other

“Think of how many people have sat next to you on a bus, train, whatever. Now think how many people have sat next to you on purpose with their fingers crossed in hope that you’ll talk to them. I’m sure somebody has. There’s plenty of times when somebody’s seen you and hoped that you spoke to them, but you never did because you don’t have the guts and neither do they. Don’t go around thinking nobody likes you and that you’re not loved. There’s been plenty of times when a stranger has spotted you and thought “Oh, they’re just my type” but haven’t had the courage or confidence to open their mouth and initiate a conversation. The funny thing is, neither have you.”

Meditation to find the Causes of Anger

1. Begin by remembering an incident in which you became angry or felt irritated. For example, you may have been late for an appointment and unable to find a place to park. Just as you had found a spot, another driver grabbed it before you could. 
2. Ask yourself, “Why did I get angry?” Try to identify both the stimulus of your anger and it’s underlying cause. 
3. Contemplate whether it is what people do that makes you angry, or whether it is your own evaluation of the situation. To help you, imagine sitting on a bus when, suddenly someone’s hands cover your eyes. Would you feel angry or frightened? How would your perception change if you turned around to recognize a friend you hadn’t seen for years? Would you still feel angry?
4. Holding these examples in mind, vow to analyze everyday sources of anger or irritation each time they arise, so that when you feel the first symptoms, you will ask yourself, “Why am I really getting angry?”

“All I wanted to do was sneak out into the night and disappear somewhere, and go and find out what everybody was doing all over the country.”
- Jack Kerouac 

11 Cynical Proverbs About Love From Around the World

Sure, love is wonderful, but sometimes it can be…complicated. Cultures all over the world have captured the hard lessons of love in the tiny, polished nuggets of wisdom we call proverbs. These 11 cynical proverbs about love won't make you feel warm and fuzzy, but they show that everyone, everywhere, has had it bad at some point.

1. POLISH

First love is like a snake; if it doesn't destroy you, it will paralyze you.

2. GERMAN

You can suffer without love, but you can't love without suffering.

3. AVAR, RUSSIAN CAUCASUS

Yield to the desires of your body, then endure the disasters that follow.

4. HAUSA, NIGERIA/NIGER

When the heart gives orders, the body becomes its slave.

5. RUSSIAN

Love has wings on its shoulders; matrimony has crutches under its arms.

6. PUNJABI, INDIA

There are a thousand miseries in one love.

7. ITALIAN

He that marries for love, dies miserably of anger.

8. RUSSIAN

Love is like a nettle that stings badly.

9. SPANISH

Love is like soup, the first mouthful is very hot, and the ones that follow become gradually colder.

10. MALAGASY, MADAGASCAR

Love is like seaweed: you go to her, she leaves you, you leave her, she follows you.

11. ARABIC

The promises of the night, made of butter, melt when the first sunrays appear.

Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/48836/11-cynical-proverbs-about-love-around-world#ixzz2LrWw86Om 
--brought to you by mental_floss! 

“Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?”
- Sigmund Freud 

“1. Learn to know them. Watch their facial expressions, watch the way their body twists and bends. Notice the freckles along their noses, their arms, their back. Listen to their laughter, listen to the way their voice cracks when they’re upset. Find their weakness, their broken points, their darkness. Find their light. Find the things unique to them. Ask them about their childhood, ask them about their favorite place to read, ask them what their last words would be if they could choose. Know them.

2. Let these things blossom beneath their skin like flowers, like bruises, so every time you see them, it will be a reminder. Let those bruises shine like moons in every phase and the smaller things shine like stars. They are your night sky, and you are the astronomer.

3. Show them the constellations you have found and let them find a glowing world beneath their skin. Ask them to read you their favorite poem or sing you their favorite song. Learn to love their passion for whatever it is they enjoy. Learn to love their shooting stars.”
- Kelsey Danielle, “How to Love Someone

quote

“There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand without you even speaking a word.”
- Yasmin Mogahed

how to receive love

1. Trust people when they tell you that they love you. Whether it be an intimate relationship, a friendship, or a family relationship, it is important to take the declaration of love at face value. If you are pushing aside the gift of love because you are afraid the person does not mean it, then you prevent them from having the chance to prove that they do.

2. Stop fearing loss. A common reason for not being able to receive love is a prior experience of losing someone you loved. However, if you spend all your life pushing aside love on the off-chance that the person might withdraw it again, you will always feel cynical and unsure. Instead, embrace their love, and go with the flow, expecting those who offer love to stay around.

3. Love yourself. This might be the hardest step of all. However, if you don’t love yourself then receiving love is impossible - because you don’t believe that you deserve to be loved. If this is the case, start working on why you can’t love yourself. This might include seeking help to explore the issues behind the belief. Remember that every person is special - and that youdeserve to be loved.

4. Let love in and don’t block it. Being open and receptive to the love that others offer is something you can learn with practice, over time. Don’t let the urge to be cynical or tough take over. Instead, let down your defenses, and accept support from others.

5. Observe how children receive love. They accept what is said, and view receiving love as natural. Re-learn what was once was innate – and choose to trust again.