How To Get Closure

How To Get Closure

We all hear that you need to get closure on a relationship before you can truly move on – but how do we go about getting it? There is no magic formula for closure. It’s basically anything you need to have happen in order to feel like the relationship is really over. Without closure the relationship essentially still feels like an open case of unresolved feelings and issues and we need to find a way to shut the book to move on. Here’s some ways to help get closure:

·        Wait. It’s unlikely that you’ll break up Monday, get closure Tuesday and be over it on Wednesday. Closure really comes after a certain amount of time has passed and you are able to gain some perspective on the relationship that you weren’t able to when you were in it or freshly broken up. You might see your ex in a different light, or realize something about yourself that you didn’t know. So be patient and don’t expect it to happen overnight. Breakups take time to heal, above anything.

·        Vent. Find some good friends to give you a shoulder to cry on and let it all out. Or write it in your journal. Either way, start talking to get out whatever feelings you have bottled up. You won’t be able to release your ex from your life if your feelings are still inside of you. As you vent, you might work through the relationship enough to be able to move on, or you might come to some realizations that you’re better off without them.

·        Talk. After letting some time and space pass after your breakup, it might be a good idea to sit down and talk with your ex. If you can’t do this peacefully then you might want to skip this step, but if possible, find a time to talk alone. You can both get out all of the things that you’ve been thinking and this is your chance to get a final word in about something. Don’t do it with the intention of changing their mind or getting them to suddenly see things your way, because that may not happen and you won’t feel the satisfaction you’re looking for. Instead, do it with the intention of getting out any last things you want to say to them. You’re not re-opening old arguments, but rather you’re making closing statements. After talking it’s likely that you’ll feel much better for getting out all of the things you weren’t able to say before.

·        Whatever it takes. Only you truly know your relationship and yourself and what it will take to get over the relationship. If there’s something that you feel you need to do, then go and do it. Maybe you need to do something creative, or maybe you need to take a road trip to create some space and clear your head. Whatever it is, if you have a desire to pursue something positive instead of sitting around and wallowing, then get out and do it. Doing something positive and healthy to release emotions will help you move on quicker and will propel you into the next phase of your life. Plus you’ll feel like you’re being proactive instead of just sitting around and waiting to feel better.

Ten Things To Do When You Feel Like Crap:

1. Have a really hot, long shower. Cry if you need to. Sit on the ground. Feel sorry for yourself. Let the steam soak into your skin. Let the hot water wash your face clean. But the moment you turn off that water, you are done feeling sorry for yourself. Make a decision to move on from that sadness.

2. Clean. I know, cleaning is boring and annoying - but how about that feeling you get when you are finished? The smell of the vacuum. That feeling of accomplishment? Who knows, you might even find money along the way. Totally worth it. It’s like starting with a clean slate.

3. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to for a while. If your first choice doesn’t pick up, choose someone else. Ask them all about how their lives are going and tell them about yours. Not only will it take your mind off whatever crappy thing you have been plagued by, but you will laugh with them! Laughing triggers endorphins and endorphins make you happy!

4. Go for a run or a walk. This get’s your endorphins and dopamine going crazy. You will get more energy and more happiness just because the chemicals in your body are running around!

5. Stop and take it all in. Walking in the night? Stop and look at the stars. Breathe in the cold air. Feel alive. 

6. Stop whining. Ever heard the saying “love life and life will love you back”? Or, the idea of the power of attraction? It’s true! If you sit around saying “why me, waaaaa waaaa” then bad things will happen to you. You’re already defeated. If you start saying, “I will be happy, I will accomplish my ambitions, I will find love, I do look amazing, I am a great friend” etc., then not only will you start to believe them but you will be amazed at what amazing things start to happen.

7. Drink tea. This always works. Not a tea fan? Try hot water with a slice of lemon and some agave syrup. 

8. Make a conscious decision to stop holding certain grudges. We all have people we have held grudges on in the past. Let them go. If you feel like you owe this person an apology, don’t be too proud. Send them a sincere facebook apology. Sincerity is in the intent, so even if it’s a 2 sentence apology - as long as you mean it it’s worth it. 

9. Cook some really nice, warm food. Stimulate your taste buds with anything as simple as two minute noodles or as lavish as a three course garlic bread, pasta bake, chocolate mousse triple combo. 

10. Write down a list of goals to achieve for the week. As simple as “buy insect repellent” or as large as “jog for 25 minutes non stop” and tick them off when they’re done. You will feel very accomplished and that alone will help pep up your mood!

Can’t believe this post is still circulating at such speed.