Want to Improve your Communication Skills?

1. Listen carefully when others are speaking. Keep your mouth shut – and focus totally on them.

2. Never, ever talk over other people. This is disrespectful – and a real turn off.

3. Even if the person leaves an hour between each word, resist the temptation tocomplete their sentence for them.

4. Don’t interrupt - let the other person finish. Then, acknowledge what they’ve shared before adding your own thoughts.

5. Paraphrase or summarise what’s just been shared. It shows that you have listened – and are keen to understand.

6. Maintain good eye contact as this says you’re interested, and the speaker and their story are important to you.

The Nine Types of Intelligence

1. Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”)

Designates the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).  This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.  It is also speculated that much of our consumer society exploits the naturalist intelligences, which can be mobilized in the discrimination among cars, sneakers, kinds of makeup, and the like.

2. Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”)

Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone.  This intelligence enables us to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners. Interestingly, there is often an affective connection between music and the emotions; and mathematical and musical intelligences may share common thinking processes.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are usually singing or drumming to themselves.  They are usually quite aware of sounds others may miss.

3. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart)

Logical-mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.  It enables us to perceive relationships and connections and to use abstract, symbolic thought; sequential reasoning skills; and inductive and deductive thinking patterns.  Logical intelligence is usually well developed in mathematicians, scientists, and detectives.  Young adults with lots of logical intelligence are interested in patterns, categories, and relationships.  They are drawn to arithmetic problems, strategy games and experiments.

4.Existential Intelligence

Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here.

5. Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”)

Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.  It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives.  Teachers, social workers, actors, and politicians all exhibit interpersonal intelligence.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are leaders among their peers, are good at communicating, and seem to understand others’ feelings and motives.

6. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”)

Bodily kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.  This intelligence also involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind–body union.  Athletes, dancers, surgeons, and craftspeople exhibit well-developed bodily kinesthetic intelligence.

7. Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)

Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.  Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply meta-linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language. Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, and effective public speakers.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.

8. Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”)

Intra-personal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning and directioning one’s life.  Intra-personal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of the self, but also of the human condition.  It is evident in psychologist, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.  These young adults may be shy. They are very aware of their own feelings and are self-motivated.

9. Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart”)

Spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions.  Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.  Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, and architects all exhibit spatial intelligence. Young adults with this kind of intelligence may be fascinated with mazes or jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing or daydreaming.

When You Feel Lonely

1. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel. Don’t stifle or ignore the pain you’re struggling with.

2. Resist the temptation to isolate yourself. Make the effort to go places where you have to talk to others. You don’t have to do anything that feels overwhelming – but make yourself go somewhere where you interact people.

3. If possible, find a friend, a family member or a counsellor who you can open up and share your feelings with.  Just being real with someone can help remove the pain.

4. Read about inspiring people who also pushed through loneliness (This is true of many leaders, like Nelson Mandela). Doing that, can inspire you to hang in there and keep going.

5. Try writing or journaling about your feelings. Writing down how you feel can help release the pain you feel.

6. Find a way to volunteer or to help out other people – it takes you outside yourself, and makes a huge difference to them.

7. Try and hang around people who believe in you – and be your own cheerleader – and keep your focus on your strengths.    

10 Myths/Facts About Introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

12 Types and Examples of Distorted Thinking

Mind Reading - When you make assumptions about what somebody is thinking or feeling without them telling you. In reality, you are delusional or paranoid.

Catastrophize - when you over think a problem and the effects that they will actually have on you. For example, when you think that losing a relationship means the end of your life when really you can find someone new the next day or down the line.

Filtering - when you only pay attention to one side of things. For example, you only remember the bad times you had in school and not the good ones.

Polarized thinking - when you think of things as either black or white or good or bad. For example, there can only be good or bad people or success or fails.

Personalization - when you take everything too personally. For example, when you think that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you.

Blaming - when you hold other people accountable for your problems. For example, you blame someone else  for causing you to make a bad decision. In actuality, you were the one who made the wrong call based on your own judgement.

Being Right - You feel the need to prove that your opinions or actions are correct. For example, you neglect other people’s perspective in an argument.

Should’s - when you place sets of rules on yourself. For example, you think that you should go out whenever your friend asks you to.

Emotional Reading - When you use your emotions to make a decision or judgement. For example, you buy into a product because of how good it was marketed when really the product is not that good.

Fallacy of Change - when you think others should change for you and that yourhappiness depends on them changing. For example, you expect that person to stop being a jerk because you are being nice to them.

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy - when you expect that all your sacrifices or hard work to pay off. For example, you think that if you work hard enough, you should get a reward.

Overgeneralization - when you carry a problem over to other domains. When you fail a math test, you think that you are not good with anything to do with numbers. 

how to accept yourself

1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.

2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.

3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.

4.  Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself.

6. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. Get up, forgive youself, then just choose to move on.    

Some Zodiac Behaviors in Love

♈ Aries: Will demand their freedom yet become possessive themselves. Will see the world through rose-coloured glasses when they are in love. They become total romantics yet can be embarrassed by this and don’t like people seeing their vulnerable side

♉ Taurus: They are old fashioned in love and a confusing mix of sentimentality and toughness. Although they appear composed they have deeply intensified feelings of love and like to show physical evidence of it. It takes a long time for Taureans to give away their hearts, and only the strong will survive the wait

♊ Gemini: A Gemini will want to make friends with you first. Most of the relationship will base around conversation, big ideas and soul satisfying deep and meaningfuls. Although Gemini is desperate to find their long lost twin; they often surprise themselves with their detachment from people, and a lack of feeling; they also guard their freedom very forcefully

♋ Cancer: A Cancerian will instantly know what their partner wants in a relationship; they are very intuitive and ‘sixth-sense’ when it comes to this. They take love rather seriously and are very sensitive to any turbulence in their relationships. While their friends are out drinking; they’re busy picking names for your future children or mentally decorating their nurseries

♌ Leo: Leo are very proud and boastful in their love. They tend to gravitate towards people that fulfil their higher standards and they love to show their loved one off. Leo want the whole world to know they are in love and become a lot happier people when they are

♍ Virgo: Virgo prefer serene relationships and will become easily embarrassed in times of heavy emotionalism. If they like you, they will re-arrange their schedule; and find a time to fit you in it. Virgo’s nervous tendencies are especially evident on the first date

♎ Libra: A Libran lives for love; and spend their life searching until they find someone who balances the scales. Libra will always feel incomplete until they have found a mutually beneficial relationship. Libra wait years until the right person comes along, leaving friends and family wondering why someone with with such affability and liveability is still single

♏ Scorpio There is no middle ground for Scorpio; either they are deeply passionately in love or they don’t want to know you. They can be maddening to their partners; one minute they are detached, mysterious and ego-centric, and then ever shift into commitment and generosity

♐ Sagittarius Sagittarius require their freedom in relationships or it will be intolerable. Curiously, they can be quite possessive in relationships; only because they are aware of their own malleability and sense of detachment towards love. Even if Sagittarius has found true love their casual nature can make them appear indifferent

♑ Capricorn Love helps free the Capricorn from their own critical and stoic natures. Trying to break down the walls of a Capricorn and win their heart is no easy task. They have much more than ribcages protecting themselves. They  are huge on family, and are deeply loyal to their own

♒ Aquarius Aquarius prefer to forge a friendship first and usually prefer the live apart relationship for as long as they can. Love generates many overwhelming and confusion to an Aquarius, emotions which they struggle to read, this often makes them lose their rationality. Aquarius love love, but guard their independence fiercly

♓ Pisces Pisceans tend to wear rose-coloured glasses about their loved one in a relationship. This can cause many of them to find themselves in self destructive relationships with horrible partners. Sometimes, in love, a Piscean doesn’t realise they can do better for themselves. Love has been the core of many of the Piscean fantasies