Why Self-Hatred is a Bad Idea

1. If you currently hate, or can’t live with, yourself there’s a very good chance that you believe a lot of lies. That is, lies that you’ve been told, and then accepted for yourself.

2. There’s only one you – and you’re truly valuable. You have special gifts and talents, and life experiences. And there’s a unique role that only you can play in life.

3. There’s always someone that you matter to. Even though, when we’redepressed, that is sometimes hard to see. You really matter to someone – and they truly care for you.

4. Even when things go wrong there is still a chance for change. There is hope for everyone – and change is possible. Keep on looking, keep on trying … and one day you will get there.

5. You were made to be loved and experience happiness. It is part of who we are – to keep living and keep dreaming. You deserve to find fulfilment – so don’t give up on yourself.   

6 questions to ask when you’re making a tough decision

1.  What option would I choose if I knew I would definitely succeed?

2. What would I do if I didn’t feel scared?

3. Who can I talk to who’s been in my shoes?

4. What are the likely outcomes of each choice and decision?

5. What is the worst thing that could happen; what is the best thing that could happen?

6.  Am I making this decision for myself, or am I choosing to please other people?

Tips to stop procrastinating

1. If you’re procrastinating because you’re feeling stuck (eg, if you don’t really understand a school assignment, or you don’t know what’s expected, or you don’t know where to start) then pluck up the courage to ask for some help. When you know what you’re doing, it’s easier to work.

2.  Remind yourself that most decisions aren’t major. If you get it wrong, you can start over again … or change your direction … or have another try.

3. If the task seems overwhelming, just take a baby step. That, at least, will get you moving – so the next step’s easier.

4.  Tell yourself that you can suffer for up to twenty minutes – and then you’ll return to doing things you want to do. You’ll be surprised to discover that “suffering’s” not that bad.

5. Decide to do the task as soon as you get up – as the more you put it off, the worse it’s going to seem!   

6. Don’t pretend that other work counts just as much as what you’re leaving. Simply acting like you’re busy won’t make it go away. Be honest with yourself … and do what’s most important first.  

How to make small talk at parties

What you should say and how you should act depends on the context and who’re you’re with … but here are a few general ideas:

1. Smile – It’s welcoming, warm, and makes you seem more approachable.

2. Compliment people all the time. Most people feel awkward and ill at ease. So try and find something that is worth complimenting. You’ll help them to relax and to feel more confident (and they’ll also feel more positive about, and around, you).

3. Try and have a few stories up your sleeve that you’ve used before, and that make people laugh. This is really helpful when things go quiet, and the conversation dries up for a while.

4. Say nice things about people you both know. It makes you seem trustworthy, and a loyal friend.

5. Encourage people to talk about themselves by asking open questions – then probing a bit more. But stick to safe topics – and try to keep things light.

6. Make sure you mingle well and don’t talk for too long. This takes off the pressure when you don’t know others well. It also make you look more confident and sociable.  

20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships

1.    Free yourself from negative people.

2.    Let go of those who are already gone.

3.    Give people you don’t know a fair chance.

4.    Show everyone kindness and respect.

5.    Accept people just the way they are.

6.    Encourage others and cheer for them.

7.    Be your imperfectly perfect self.

8.    Forgive people and move forward.

9.    Do little things every day for others.

10. Pay attention to who your real friends are.

11. Always be loyal.

12. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.

13. Keep your promises and tell the truth.

14. Give what you want to receive.

15. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

16. Allow others to make their own decisions.

17. Talk a little less, and listen more.

18. Leave petty arguments alone.

19. Ignore unconstructive, or hurtful comments.

20. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/01/29/20-things-to-start-doing-in-your-relationships/

Effective Exam Writing Tips

1. Make sure you read and understand the instructions: This is absolutely crucial. A lot of students are keen to rush ahead and so they quickly skim over the exam instructions. Then, later, they discover that they did it wrong! For example, do you have to do every question on the exam paper, or do you only have to choose a certain number? Is there a penalty for guessing – so is it better not to guess? (For example, because you lose an extra point for each answer you get wrong).

2. Read through the exam and divide up your time accordingly:For example, make a note of the number of questions there are, and notice what all the different questions are worth. This isn’t wasted time as reading through the questions will start to activate your memory. Decide which questions will be easy, and which will take more time, and mentally allocate your time accordingly. Also, allow some time at the end to review what you have written, and do some corrections if you think you’ve made an error.

3. Work through each question systematically: Slowly read through the questions, and underline key words. Also, check to see if there are several parts to any question. Make sure you’ve fully understood what you’re being asked to do, then try and plan your answer before you start to write.

4. Attempt every question: It’s better to do something than nothing at all. You might get a few marks for just thinking along the right lines. If you’re running out of time, then resort to bullets points. You’ll cover more by doing that than writing complete sentences.

5. What of your mind goes blank? Take a few, slow deep breaths and try your best not to panic. It’s important not to let your anxiety take over. Take control of your thinking by reassuring yourself that is only temporary - and soon will pass. Repeat true, positive thoughts like “you’ve worked hard and are ready”, and listen to your breathing – as it starts to slow down again.

6. Review what you’ve written and make corrections if they’re needed: Leave some time to go over your answers at the end – but don’t change what you’ve written unless you’re sure it’s wrong. Also, look out for blank spaces, for questions you have missed, and turn over the last page – in case there’s something at the end!

12 Things Happy People Do Differently

Happy people value and choose:

 1. Love over Fear: People, who are truly happy, are less fearful and more loving. They perceive every moment, every challenge, and every person as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and the world.

2. Acceptance over Resistance:  Happy people know that you can’t really change things by denying and resisting them. So when bad things happen, they don’t fight, get angry and complain. Instead, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better?

3. Forgiveness over Unforgiveness: Truly happy individuals understand that it’s destructive to hold on to feelings of anger. Instead, they choose to forgive and let go, understanding that (in the end) forgiveness is a gift they give themselves.

4. Trust over Mistrust: They trust themselves … and they have learned to figure out the trustworthy people – and those they should avoid.

5. Meaning over Ambition: Happy people do the things they do because it adds meaning and purpose to their lives. They’re not driven by the need to gain acceptance, praise and approval from others. 

6. Challenges over Obstacles: Happy people see problems as challenges, and as opportunities to explore new ways of seeing and doing things. That is, challenges are something that help them to grow.

7. Selflessness over Selfishness:  Happy people seek out ways ways to give to others - of themselves, their time, of their money, and their gifts. That is, they’re not self-focused and self-absorbed.

8. Kindness over Harshness: Happy people are gentle and kind with themselves and others. They know the importance and power of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance - and they freely love, forgive and accept other people, too.

9. Gratitude over Ingratitude: No matter where they are, or who they are with, happy people have the capacity to see beauty where others would only see ugliness – and they’re quick to express their gratitude, as well.

10. Being Present over Being Disengaged:  Happy people know how to live in the moment, appreciating what they have and who they are with. They are not constantly being dragged down by the past, or distracted by what could happen (or go wrong) in the future.

11. Positivity over Negativity: Regardless of the circumstances of life, happy people are able to adopt and maintain a positive, and upbeat, attitude and perspective.

12. Taking Responsibility over Blaming: Happy people assume full ownership for their lives. They assume responsibility for their life, choices, decisions, actions, reactions, beliefs and attitudes.