Everyone has idiosyncrasies that make us who we are. But sometimes the little quirks that our partner has can really start to get on our nerves. Here’s how to deal with it before it takes over and ruins your relationship:
· Remember that you have quirks too. If your partner’s quirks start to drive you crazy, remember that you aren’t perfect either. Everyone has imperfections and that’s what makes us interesting. So instead of focusing all your attention on the things they do that bug you, remember that you probably do things that bug them too. This will humble you and take some of the focus off of them. You’ll start to give them a break if you remember that you’re not perfect either.
· Focus on their positives. Remember why you like them in the first place and focus more on those things than the things that annoy you. After you’ve been in a relationship for a while it’s easy to lose sight of the little things they do that you found to be charming. Instead we focus on the stuff that gets on our nerves. So turn the tables and make a mental list of all the stuff you love about them and focus on those positives instead.
· Ask them to stop. If it’s something that’s easily fixed, like they always interrupt you, then gently ask them to stop doing it. They probably don’t even realize that they’re doing it or that it bothers you. If you’re nice about it and point it out to them, they may be able to stop the behavior and your problem will be solved.
· Take a break. If their quirks are getting more and more on your nerves, sometimes it’s best to just take some time apart. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to overlook something, it can still drive us crazy. This often happens when we’re spending too much time with one person. Take a bit of time to do something else or to see your other friends. You need a break to stop dwelling on their quirks and to start looking forward to seeing them.
· Look at the big picture. Remember that these are little faults, not major deal breakers in the relationship. If your partner chews with their mouth open or says “like” too much, remind yourself that these are not important factors in the big picture of the relationship.
· Embrace their flaws. Instead of dwelling on how annoying they are, look at their quirks in a different light. If you can embrace them, you’ll realize that you don’t need to be perfect either. Try just letting it go and accepting the fact that they aren’t perfect.
· Don’t snap. Don’t let yourself get so annoyed and worked up over their quirks that you snap. It’s not fair to them for you to get mad at them for something small without you talking about it calmly first. If the first time you mention it to them is when you’re blowing a fuse about it, they’ll be hurt and you’ll end up feeling like a jerk.
· Don’t go overboard in criticism. If you do decide to talk to them about changing some of their quirks, do it one at a time. Don’t bag on them for everything that bugs you all at once. They’ll feel ganged up on and like you don’t have anything positive to say about them. Pick one thing at a time rather than coming at them with a huge list of all the things that bother you.
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