What Their Conflict Style Reveals About Them

You can learn a lot about your partner by looking at how they act when you’re arguing. A person’s conflict style can reveal a lot about their personality and their feelings towards you:

·        They initiate arguments. If they have no qualms about confronting you or instigating arguments it’s a sign that they have an aggressive personality. They don’t like letting things go by the wayside and want to deal with conflict head on. This also shows that they care about your relationship – they don’t want to just let disagreements go, and they’d rather deal with them instead of letting hostility fester.

·        They’re explosive. If they yell, burst into tears or act in any other emotionally explosive way, they are a passionate person. They care deeply about the relationship and have invested a lot of their emotions in it. They care about what you do and think, and take it personally when you’re upset about something.

·        They shut down. If they storm off or shut down communication it means that they have difficulty dealing with stress and conflict. They would rather avoid it, which is why they try to leave. They care a lot about you and what you think, and want to avoid any situation or argument that reflects badly on them or casts a negative light on the relationship.

·        They’re apologetic. If they’re quick to accept the blame and are always taking the fall for every argument, it’s a sign of a low self-confidence. They assume everything is their fault and they are eager to keep you happy, which they try to do by accepting the blame for everything.

·        They won’t let it go. Even after the argument is long over, if they keep bringing it up and re-hashing it, it means they are a perfectionist. They don’t want to rest until something is completely dealt with or until they feel like you understand their point.

·        Speaks their mind and listens to you. If they present their case and listen while you do the same, they are a well-balanced person and an excellent communicator. They are mature enough to listen to your side without getting emotional and they understand that every argument has two sides.

·        They joke about it. If they can’t have a serious conversation and turn to humor and sarcasm when you argue, it’s because they don’t want things to get too heavy. They like to diffuse serious situations with humor and avoid serious discussions and confrontation.

·        They get quiet. If they get really quiet when you have an argument, they are likely trying to collect their thoughts and thinking about how to respond. They care about you and the relationship and don’t want to say the wrong thing. They prefer to think about their response instead of just blurting something out that could be taken the wrong way.

·        They sulk. If they sulk and pout after every argument, it’s a sign of immaturity. They aren’t confident enough to voice what they really wanted to say, so they are sulking because they feel like they weren’t fully understood or they didn’t get the outcome that they wanted. They are invested tin the relationship because they care about what you think, but they lack the confidence to really voice their thoughts.