How To Maintain A Friendship Through Change

How To Maintain A Friendship Through Change

We’ve all been there, where we drift away from a close friend when one of us goes through a change in life. It might be a move to a new city, changing jobs or schools, or any other major life change that can push us apart. It’s natural for friendships to ebb and flow based on life changes, but if you have a friendship that’s particularly important and you want to maintain, here are some ways to keep close during a change:

·        Stay in touch. Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. There are so many ways to stay in touch, from the phone to instant messaging to texting. Pick whatever mediums work best for you and your friend and make a real effort to keep in touch. Staying in communication is the best way to maintain your friendships.

·        Have reasonable expectations. While you’re trying to stay in touch and communicate, make sure you are realistic in what you expect of each other. Don’t vow to talk every day and visit every weekend – it will be too difficult to keep up as you each try to build new lives without each other. If your expectations are too high you’ll only get disappointed when you can’t keep them up.

·        Set a regular date. Even as you are both focusing on moving on and adjusting to the change, you can set a regular time and place to hang out, have a Skype date, or visit each other. Maybe you have brunch every Sunday, or Skype every Tuesday while you watch your favorite show together. Whatever it is, keeping a regular date will make sure that you stay a part of each others lives, even if you don’t see each other outside of that time.

·        Cut each other some slack. If your friend doesn’t email you back right away or doesn’t respond to your texts for a few days, cut them some slack. You’re both bound to get busy with your own lives and it’s not realistic to expect to be each other’s top priorities all of the time. Know that you love each other and that you’ll talk again soon.

·        Focus on other things in your life. Make sure you each still have lots of your own things going on so you’re not sitting around dwelling on the fact that you aren’t living in the same city anymore, or seeing each other all the time. Keep busy with other stuff and you’ll have more to talk about when you do see each other.

·        Don’t force it. Keep in mind that friendships come and go in life and sometimes you might be close for a while, drift apart, and perhaps even become close again. That’s the natural rhythm of friendships and life. Do your best to stay in touch but don’t force it if one of you is moving on. Just wish them the best and be open to the possibility of being close again one day.