This one time I painted a living room with a girl.

This was a handful of years back. It was about eight months before the huge, flame-out of a breakup. That day, though? That day we painted the living room? It was pretty uneventful. We painted my parents living room for $50 between us and a pizza. That was it. I think we watched Anchorman or something after that.

"But it still holds as on of the most indelible memories I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not still in love, it happened, it was good, it ended, and we’ve both moved on. But I’ll never forget that day. Because it’s never, in the long run, about the grand gestures. You can fly across the world and show up on her doorstep with a rose in your teeth and a ring in a little velvet box but I can guarantee you that - more often than not - she’s going to remember the time you built the birdhouse in the back yard, or what have you, a whole lot more.

Life wasn’t meant to be taken in large movements. The next day will inevitably arrive, you’ll sleep, and the moment will have passed. But when you have a hundred thousand small moments, you can step back and appreciate the picture a lot more than metaphorically blowing your load on some grand moment that, in all honesty, look, you’re not Bruce Fucking Springsteen, you’re not going to be able to blow everyone’s mind every single night. You’re not Romeo and/or Juliet. There’s no reason to drink the poison together in some flame-out gesture. So that leaves us with the small stuff. It’s all about the detail.

That’s what love is. Attention to detail.

And the moment will end. And then things will get boring. And it might get a little quiet. And it might all end horribly. And you might hate eachother at the end. And you might walk away from eachother one day and never speak again. But that’s just how it goes.

But she’ll remember the time you held the door open for her on your first date.
She’ll remember the time you laughed at her impression of the landlady.
She’ll remember the time you stayed up all night that first time. 
She’ll remember the small things a lot longer than the big ones.

But everything ends. And I’ll tell you why you have to make the small things, the small moments count so much more:

One day, probably a while longer from now, when old age takes ahold of someone, she might just only remember your smile. Everything you ever did together, every second, every moment, every beat, every morning spent in bed, every evening spent together on the sofa, all of that - gone. Everything you ever did will be reduced to the head of a pin. She won’t remember your name. She’ll just remember your smile, and she’ll smile. She won’t know why. It’s a base, gut reaction. But she’ll smile, uncontrollably, and it will come from somewhere so deep as to know that you touched her on a primal, honest, and true level that no scientist, scholar, or savant could ever begin to explain. There is no more. There is nothing else. There is just this: She’ll remember your smile, and she’ll smile."

"My heart didn’t break into a thousand pieces after he left. Instead, I realized all the things he didn’t do. He didn’t want to hear my stories. He didn’t ask me questions. He didn’t smile when I was talking to him. He didn’t hug me out of the blue to make me feel good. His hugs were always a preamble to something else, and after he was gone, I wondered if he ever knew me at all."

—	Diane Les Becquets

Pros & Cons Of Staying Friends After You Break Up

Is it better to remain friends after you break up or to go your separate ways? It’s hard to say which is best for each couple, but here are the pros and cons to consider:

Pros

·        You’ll have something to show for your time together. After all the time and energy you spent on your relationship when you were together, it’s nice to have a great friendship to show for it after you break up. You’ve already put the time and effort in so it’s great to continue to enjoy the benefits even if you aren’t together as a couple.

·        You know each other really well. After being a couple you know each other inside and out so it’s an easy transition into being friends. Because you know them so well you’ll be able to a great friend to them and visa versa.

·        You’re compatible. If you were together as a couple you’re bound to have some things in common that you can carry over and enjoy as friends. It’s great to be able to keep spending time together doing what you enjoy even if you’re not dating anymore.

·        There’s less pressure and more fun. You don’t have to worry about living up to each other’s expectations like you do when you’re together in a relationship. As friends you still get to spend time together but you can just have fun and forget about the pressures of being a couple.

Cons

·        You’re not used to hanging out as friends. It can be hard to spend time together as friends when you’re used to being in a romantic relationship. You might have to remind yourself not to reach out to hold hands or to do other things that you might have done when you were a couple.

·        Having to talk about new relationships. Friends typically talk to each other about who they are dating, so if you’re friends with your ex you might have to listen to them talk about their new boyfriend/girlfriend. This can be really hard, even if you think you’re over them.

·        They’ve seen your vulnerable side. We let our romantic partners see more personal sides of us than we do with our friends. It can be difficult to go from that close and personal relationship to one that is more casual after you’ve already been together.

·        It can be hard to forgive. If you want to be friends you’ll have to get over whatever problems you had as a couple and put them aside. If you’re not prepared to do this you might have a tough time being friends after you break up.