There comes a point in every relationship where you talk to each other about your past relationships. Here are the Dos and Don’ts for doing it right:
Do
· Summarize. Give them the general scope of your past relationships. How long you were together, why you broke up, etc. There’s no need to tell them anymore than the highlights.
· Outline the main issues. Give them the big picture of what your issues or problems were in your past relationships without going into the details of every little thing that went wrong.
· Try to keep the conversation positive. Don’t turn it into a conversation where you call your ex nasty names and start trashing them. Your anger will put your new partner off and might scare them away.
· Ask about their past. Don’t just go on and on about your past without asking about theirs.
· Show that you’ve moved on. Finish the conversation by saying that you’re glad that the relationship is over so that you can move on to better things. Make sure you emphasize that you’re happy that it’s over so they don’t wonder how you’re feeling about it now.
Don’t
· Get into the details. Focus on the main issues and highlights rather than getting into the gory details of every fight you had with your ex.
· Reminisce too fondly. While you don’t want to trash them you don’t want to speak too highly of your ex or your past relationships or your current partner might wonder if you’re really over it.
· Make comparisons. Avoid making comparisons between your ex and your new boyfriend/girlfriend. They are different people and you don’t want to make them insecure by starting to compare them against each other.
· Talk about your ex all the time. Have the talk about your past relationships once and then move on. If you’re always bringing up your ex it will drive your new partner crazy and make them wonder if you still want to be in your past relationships.
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